Background

You have probably heard of romance scams that start when people connect through dating websites.  It can lead to a range of scamming tricks, including the person personally travelling to a different country, carrying a package (which unknown to them carries illegal items) or, the target opening a bank account and allowing it be used for money-laundering.  Often these scams are more straight forward and end up with the scammed person giving the scammer money.

People who are targetted can end up selling their home and moving to another country in pursuit of their 'love' (see the Martin Henderson scams in the files below).

The experience of one of Moneyworks clients

But, this post is sharing information of a real life romance scam that happened to one of Moneyworks clients in 2024 - 2025. (Personal information has been changed)

Melissa is an older widow who lives alone in a major metropolitan area and she is lonely. To keep her brain active, Melissa does quizzes on line regularly. In one quiz there was a question about 'Where are ANZAC's from' and the answer to the quiz was incorrect, so she made a comment on the quiz.  Someone then replied to her and got into a conversation about her comments, using flattery to engage with her.  Not too long afterwards, Melissa agreed to 'take the conversation to a different location'.

Melissa and 'Nate' began a conversation on Google Chat - which is an encrypted messaging service (but it could have been WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger or any other encrypted messaging service).  Note - Scammers often use encrypted chats to maintain anonymity, hide their activities from authorities, and prevent their communications from being easily intercepted, essentially creating a veil of secrecy that makes it harder to trace their actions and identify them as scammers; even though encryption is intended for privacy, criminals can exploit this feature to facilitate their fraudulent schemes. 

These conversations began in May 2024.  Very quickly, Melissa and 'Nate' were sharing photos of each other and they started communicating at least daily. 'Nate' was very attentive to Melissa and she started feeling less lonely, and enjoyed the fact that someone was interested in her and cared about her.

'Nate' and Melissa had video chats, and Melissa talked to 'Nates' 'Daughter' through messaging and saw photos of 'Nates' home in South Carolina.  Then, in August, things started going wrong for 'Nate' and he needed help with money.  Melissa sent him some money to help as she cared about him.

In September, things got worse - there was a big story (about his company on an oil rig off the coast of Taranaki and a big storm that had hit and equipment was wiped out and the insurance company was delayed in paying and he just needed some more money to tide him over and he would repay it).

Although 'Nate' was based on the oil rigs off Taranaki, something always came up that meant that he couldn't travel to see her when he was supposed to.  Then things kept on going wrong and he needed more money...

Melissa used all of her money in her bank accounts, drew her credit cards and overdrafts to their maximum to help 'Nate' out.

Melissa contacted us in late November to ask for money from her investments to cover this high interest debt, without giving us details about why the credit card and overdraft were so high (she did have a history of spending and running up this debt).  We paid out as we couldn't have her having such high interest debt.

Melissa contacted us again for more money in early January.  This time the alarm bells went off and we said 'we will only give this to you if you confirm that this is not a scam'.  She confirmed to us that it wasn't a scam.  We weren't so sure, so after a sleepless night, we phoned her.  All of the information that she gave us indicated this was a scam.  We said to her 'what will you do if this is a scam'? 

She replied 'well, I have enough money to last me for another 5 years and I don't think I will live that long and I have been the happiest that I have been in years, knowing that there is someone who cares about me'.  Reluctantly we paid out the $1,000 requested.  We were very firm that this was the last amount we were paying out as it was clear to us that this was a scam.  All the money was supposed to be repaid by 31st January 2025, but we weren't holding our breath.

Then in mid February on a Thursday evening we receive a breathless phone call from Melissa saying that she urgently needed another $4,500 as something else had gone wrong for 'Nate'.  We replied 'No - we are not giving you any additional money as this is a scam'.

Fortunately, the money was invested in a Trust, so we could genuinely refuse to pay the money out without the signatures of all the other Trustees, but if this money was in Melissa's name only - we would have had to pay the money out - and couldn't protect her.

20+ emails later, where we insisted this is a scam, and we provided her with the links to the excellent The Economist podcasts called 'Scam Inc', Melissa realised that she had been scammed. 

At this time, the Trustees were told that Melissa had been taking the maximum amount in cash out of her bank account and driving all over the city that she lives in to deposit them into a cryptocurrency atm - using a QR Code that 'Nate' had given her.   It transpires that she did this 42 times before we were able to stop her.

An emergency meeting with the Trustees and Melissa and Moneyworks was held.  Melissa had given 'Nate' more money - maxing out her overdraft and credit cards again.  We all agreed that we would cash up more of her portfolio to clear that debt, but that the credit card would have to be cut up and the overdraft reduced.

Melissa understood that she had given away half of her wealth and as a result will need to be on a strict budget for the rest of her life.

But, this scammer 'Nate' wass so good that even after a long emotionally trying meeting for all, as we were walking out the door, she said 'I don't know what I am going to do if I find out that 'Nate' has committed suicide because I couldn't give him this amount of money'. 

Despite everything, Melissa still believes, weeks later that 'Nate' is real, that their relationship is real.  He has told her that he had to terminate the $6 million contract because he didn't get the last $4,500 from her.  Melissa is not only poorer financially but is heartbroken.

The other trustees are distraught that they couldn't do anything to stop this (even though they suspected it in December, but she wouldn't listen to them).  We are very upset that we couldn't do anything to get through to Melissa earlier and that she wasn't more transparent when she asked us for the money to cover her debt.

As a result, we are working with our clients to ask them what they want us to do if we believe that they are being scammed and they won't listen to us.  Most clients that we have asked so far have nominated someone for us to contact that will 'talk sense into me'.